Pregnant!

Well I was meant to go and get my port reflipped yet agian! Im not sure if I mentioned that but after only 2 months of being fixed I felt a sharp pain and then when it was time for my 10000000 fill the doc was unable to do it. He then sent me for an xray to find out it had flipped! I was meant to be off for another Operation on the 12 Nov only to find out recently that Im pregnant! Great news but with the port being flipped Im unable to get any fill out! We are waiting to see how I go for the next 28 weeks at least!. So far Im ok getting things down! I also have a friend who had a band and didnt need the fill taken out throughout the pregnancy! It was certainly bad timing on my husband and my behalf, and unplanned. I guess I didnt even think about what it could mean as the band is became part of my life to the point were I have even forgotten its there! My doctor is not at all concerned and if need be I can get the operation either way he would just like to wait as long as he can! So Im eating the best stuff for me and my baby at the moment and if anything I have lost some weight! My main worry is putting the weight back on! Im just going to have to make sure that whatever I eat is going to benefit both myself, my band and my baby!

Lapband concerns

The past 2 months or more I have stayed the same weight and today i got weighed and had put on a kg. I have been home with a torn ligament which in the past few weeks has healed enough for me to start fast walking again, ( I did try a month back but the pain came back after the walk. I have been in need of a fill. Currently i feel as though I can eat a fair bit. ive gone from vomiting to waking up one day and feeling fine and being able to eat more then usual. I get tighter near my period so i thought i would just ride it out as my doctor and I agreed to do (hence the vomiting)

i went in for a much needed fill today and my Doctor could not find the port so I have to go in On Monday to get it done under xray! (i find this really frustrating) but just hope that it has not flipped again. My docotr said that he put extra stiches in so its highly unlikely, but its got me pretty worried because the thought of doing this again makes me cringe!

I will keep you posted

Beena

home from Hospital

I'm am home from the hospital and it turned out that the port and the tubing were floating around and were not even attached to anything so its all fixed. My gallbladder was inflamed and my bowels had shifted. I have the little buggers in a jar (the gallstones) and can not believe that they caused this much pain. Im not able to have a fill for 6 weeks which sucks! So Ive gotta try to keep my weight down. Overall I'm feeling OK I have anti inflammatory, painkillers and antibiotics to take so I'm hoping it will get me through! I'm going to try have a sleep now just thought i would post.
Beena

The day before the Port operation

Well Im not looking forwards to tomorrow let me tell you. The port has flipped and the gallbladder needs to come out and Im hoping that this pain will never ever come back! and that I have a full healthy recovery within a week. i hve been told that this op is worse then th band and the band was so painful for me I cant imagine what i will be feeling this tie tomorrow and really dont wanna!. I just want the weight loss to begin again with the band but its been hard without another fill to try to maintain my weight! Im trying to stay around 95kg the lightest Ive been was 93kg and I felt really great and now with the extra few kgs I just feel yucky! Im in a size 16 these days and Its a nice feeling. I nearly got a 14 skirt but opted for the 16! I carry my weight in different places to most people!. A person i know had lost all their weight and went and got all the skin removed and has been in pain for 4 weeks now (I have no idea if this is the norm) but it has making me rethink if I wanna get this done in 20kgs time! I was hoping the band op and then the next op would be the tummy tuck but now with this gallbladder / port flip business the less scars and ops the better at this stage!. i have scars from my band that he will be reentering into for the gallbladder! but there still will be extra scars! GREAT! Oh well as long as its not open surgery I cant complain which still should be a possability.

Anyway bring it on lets get this over and done with so I can start working with the band again.

Beena

Another Operation

Well I have been complaining about the severe pain that I sometimes get with the lap band and after many tests it seems as though i have Gallstones. I'm sheduled to get the gallbladder out next Thursday along with getting the port to my lap band re stapled. Gallstones can be caused by rapid weight loss i have been told, so Im feeling I cant win. My port also has flipped so while my surgeon is in there I have asked him to fix up the port. I am really not looking forward to being in pain again! I guess the bonus is he said he will make sure the band is working while he is in there. As for my weight loss I am slowly putting it on because i am unable to have a fill until this issue is all sorted out which sux!. I'm up to about 95kg I have also managed to roll my ankle its swollen and sore and i can not do much in terms of exercise at the moment. Anyway there is no reason to feel sorry for myself! I just hope all goes well with the op and that it fixes my pain problems and I can live a happy and effective life with the band! I really hope that the op is much less painful then the band was cos for me it really really really hurt!

Beena

Gall stones

Thanks Cara I hope all went well with the Op.

Hi all well what can i say I am over due for a fill but have had a few tests to confirm what i thought was Oesophagus spasms from the band!! (as Ive only had the pain since the band was placed )It turns out that i have Gallstones which i have been told can be caused by rapid weight loss!!. Now I'm waiting to see the doctor to see what my options are!! At this point i really don't want another op so I'm hoping that there is a few other ways we can go about treating this so i can move on to loosing more weight!! I'm down to 93 kg which is good and i did reach my goal for my birthday to be under 100kgs (just wish i could see 89kg on the scales so i would just feel like i was moving again!. I am NOW in a size 16 to 18 and can slip into a few stretchy 14s depending on the make! It is a great feeling. i love walking past the plus size section and seeing what choices I use to have compared to now! ( why is it that some designers think young overweight women should wear floral!!) I have no idea! The debate at the moment on the news about the band has been interesting as the government where I am from is considering making it for free! Some ex biggest looser trainers have not been supportive of this and I can in a way understand that! they are coming from a mindset that everyone is like them that everyone has the discipline the lifestyle the urge to do what they love doing and i personally feel that not all of us out there feel like this!! I have became more athletic since I have lost nearly 40kg but not near enough as i should or could be or have the desire to be its just not part of my genetic makeuP to jog 30 hours a week! Also a few of the past contestants are back to their old selves and some are even doing Jenny C adds!! That is nothing against them by any means but its the truth!!. I really don't know where I will be in 20 years I hope that the band will help me eventually maintain a healthy weight for life but who really knows. there are some people out there that the band just didn't work for it is just one of these things.. I for one came to the conclusion that if this didn't work I would just have to live this way for ever until I die of a heart attack. No matter how we loose our weight the end result is the same. I feel great!! I don't have the sheer embarrassment of wondering if I can fit in a chair or wondering if I will break the chair at the restaurant anymore!! I still have a huge way to go i have another 20 kgs or more if I wish but it beats being 132.5kg!!

Cheers

Beena

The Barrium swollow test

for those of you who wasnt happy with the taste of certain shakes pre band! I have finally found a drink that tastes worse... That would be the Barrium that you get to have in the "Barrium Swollow" its a test done for those of us who may of had a slipped band. It involves drinking a "plaster like drink" while they are doing the xray and seeing if it goes through. ! I must say I found it kind of cool that i could see the xrays and the freaky implant in my body! (its definatly in there thats for sure!! I need to have a few other tests next week but Im hoping all is well. I am still in the 90's and really wanna get into the 80s!!AHHHHHH!

Beena

My New Weight (goal under 90kg buy my Birthday in a month)

Fill taken out

I went and got some fill taken out and i feel so much better. I had 1 wheat bix this morning and no reflux. The good news is i lost 2.3kg (5lbs approx) in a week so Im now 94.3kg so its a total of around 37.2kg loss in 9months... I still want to get another 20-25 kgs off just to get me to around 70-75kg! I feels great to think that 20 is not that much... well it is for many but Ive had 50-60 to loose and Im over half way there which is nice. Im not a big fan of over fills they put the band into perspective and make you remember that its is actually in there. I tried the other day it needs to be replaced and I hope that that is nt going to happen for another 30 years!!! I think i could only manage one lapband op in a lifelime 2 if need be. Life with the band has been good the changes I have made in my life come with the good and bad and sometmes i think was it all worth it. Its great feeling free, which is how I feel but it has changed my way and who I am now a little bit. I have a lot of saggy bits nothing that makes me look really bad but something I really would like to fix when i get to 70kg! My arms and legs bother me and my breast and tummy have a little skin yuckiness. Anyway my week with the band has sucked!! but i did loose weight LOL!! and thats the main thing...

getting unfilled

OK so I'm at the point now where I need to get some taken out I spent last night vomiting up water and chunky little white stuff in a towel!! not a great image but its the reality of the band. I think there was something stuck in the esophagus and it eventually got dislodged with a hot coffee. This has happened twice over the past week since the last fill which is where I'm at the fill point!!! I'm bringing up water which I cant even hold down so it was time to force them to fit me in to an appointment today at 4.30pm. Anyway I'm hoping that by taking the quarter fill out i will be able to actually eat. I have lost a fair bit of weight in the past week and i think if I add up all the bites in a week it would add up to 1 meal for te entire week... not great. I'm very interested to see what he weighs me at and how much i have lost in the week on his scales

Beena

Fill 2 tight

I have had a recent fill and I am finding it very hard to eat anything without it getting stuck no matter how much I chew.. Even Watered down Wheat bix is a struggle in the morning. I kind of want to get some weight off over the next month because I have an event coming up that i have been waiting for and so there is part of me that says to just put up with my severe lack of eating!! BUT.... the vomiting is really no good for the band so i am going to call the Doctor tomorrow to sort it out and get a little fill taken out!. I only managed to loose 1kg last month which is not a lot for 4 weeks!! but Easter threw me a little back and I ate way 2 much chocolate and stopped my walking on my holidays.. This made me feel really yucky so Im back to it and walking again. Its amazing just how much I feel yucky when I havnt exercised! anyway hopefully this over fill wont be 2 bad and get sorted out soon.

Beena

Getting there! Slowly :)

I had another fill last Friday and I may or may not be at my limit. I have had a tummy bug so its hard to tell at this stage. Once again it took him a while to get the fill in and I was concerned I may of got an infection, I went to my GP and he said to see how I go but just thought it was gastro. (not the greatest thing to cop with the band) I jumped on the scales this morning and It showed over 1.5kg loss with in the week. I have prob eaten 1 meal in 2 days. In the past when I had gastro i still would test the limits and as soon as there was a slight chance of feeling better I would eat... only to be feeling ill again.

This time I am not hungry and not bothering thanks to the band...
I was wondering if anyone else out there feels as though they always just feel that little bit "off" like not 100% well? Since the band this is me!! Its not a bad thing because i feel much better now then i did at 132.5kg's but,, for me... there is just a little something that makes me not feel 100%. I dont think its anything to worry about, but there is a plastic thing or what ever its made of thing inside my body thats really not meant to be there! (and neither was the fat) so either way I had to choice.

I love the band though.. I like the new me! I actually get called "cute" and Attractive" and they are words I dont believe fall into my world what so ever thinner or not... but its still nice to hear them!

I hope this tummy bug goes away! soon!

Anyway I was about 94.7kg this morning!! NOW I cant remember being that light the least I remember being was 95kg!!... its a good feeling Cant wait until im 89kg!!! which is only around the corner... Little goals! are always good! and achievable!

Cheers

Beena

My Crazy!!!

Does there ever come a point in your life where you really analyse just why it is we put ourselves through sheer hell to loose weight and then when you start getting somewhere you feel as though you are really getting nowhere.

It all started when My husband made a comment by mistake and was very unintentional about how a dress of mine that my mums making would be easily sold because there is no bigger costume dresses for "fat women" out there.

For some reason this made me feel like i hadn't achieved anything made me feel like i hadn't lost my 35plus kgs and made me feel like I hadn't gotten really anywhere on this journey i have been battling all my life.(size 18 not that bad really as opposed to my previous 26plus)

Never had i seen a man go that pale when he realised what had just come out of his mouth, there are few things I would leave him over and this is in the few things list!!! All my life i have been judged by my weight and all my life i have been fighting my weight, and finally I have got somewhere with the lapband finally after all the bloody pain and literally blood sweat and tears i'm starting to feel "normal" and not judged and then BANG!!! reality check from the person who has seen me at my rawest has seen the pain and has felt the tears.

It makes me sad to think that I have let my weight get to me all my life that i can sit here and be in denial about an Innocent comment made by the man i love, but for some reason my weight and has shaped my personality and its always been a part of me and always will no matter how much i loose. Anyone who REALLY knows me knows its always been touchy subject and one i have avoided, AND THAT.... my friends is the soul reason why i got that big!! no one was ever game enough to say something ..... not even myself!!!!

I layed in bed last night (husband on the couch,which after 13 years he had never ever spent there) and i wasn't thinking of the hurt or pain i was thinking of how I could just go get the biggest chocolate slab and devourer it right there and then...... (which i didnt go get)i just slept it off like a smoker who is trying to quit.... BUT don't start cheering for my willpower yet!!! cos as I sit here and eat my chocolate coated lolly filled ice cream that i know I wont get to finish because of the band I realise that the band cant stop that evil fat voice but it can stop you from being the devil and taking more then you need....

And yes some of you are thinking (hes not that bad, There are men out there who are intentionally nasty to their partners about there weight, me personally, if it upsets you then its not on, if its all good then fine, I just cant take it. Call me pretty much anything but don't call me fat!!! and I am..... I know..... I am.... but for some reason the truth hurts me sooooooooooooooooooo much its digs really deep and is

"my crazy".


Beena

New weight

My first pair of jeans

Well I decided the other day to go shopping and Im finding that Im buying things now because I just can not believe they fit. I tried on a pair of jeans the other day I havnt wore jeans since i was 10 years old, for me Ive been hiding behind long skirts and havnt even wore pants for about 15 years up until recently.

Yeaterday I bought my first pair of jeans in a very very long time. Well I guess my I BOUGHT my first pair ever since my mum would of bought them for me back then, and I cant stop wearing them. they are a size 18 which aint bad from a 26plus!!

Iam finding shopping really exciting now and Ive been able to swap clotheswith my younger sister which is nice. Even just being able to shop in the same stroes as her has been great. Ive had a few bits of cake over the weekend celebrating my boys birthdays so Iam back into it today focusing on food again.

to all the future dieters out there its alllllll worth it no matter what you do to loose it I feel better.

Beena

Weight Loss Tracker

Tough week

Well I got my fill last week up to fill number 5 and at 6.8mls. Got 1/4 ml added and found no real change but with no working out this week I have still managed to get down a little weight and now Im 97.9kg which feels great. Im 34.6kgs down! around another 23 to go to get to my goal weight of around 75kg. I managed to loose 3kg since Christmas so it was slow but thats ok as long as the scales are going the right way!. Ive spend most of the past week gathering things for all the bushfire victims and its been really hard to focus on myself when so much sadness is happening right around me. I will say this though Im proud to be Australian, the way my friends and family have helped me gather stuff in such short time for others and the way everyone has donated and the way the govenment has quickly got shelter food water, clothes, toys and relief to those needed is a privlidge to live in this country.

Back to the band! My tubing that has unstitched itself happened to be popping out when i went to see the doctor and he finally got to see what it was i was talking about. He can fix it but the thought of being reoperated on, makes me feel sick so i will learn to live with it for now.

My skirts are falling off and so i have decided not to buy zipper ones and only elastic ones so they can shrink with me. I can fit into a 14 ,16 and 18 but comfotabley.

My birthday is coming up and I have made a new small goal for myself and I have found it funny how goals have changed. I would be happy to loose another 5-10 before may but i will aim for 5kg. Now that life with the band has kicked in it doesnt feel like such a rush anymore to get all the weight off so fast. im giving myself 2 years to aim for goal, many will do it faster but for me Im happy to do it like this. i have been FAT ALL my life and so this is a lifestyle change that i have made and dont want to treat it as a restrictive diet like the past. if I want the chocolate I have the bloody chocolate and if that means i wont loose 500gms that week so be it... I know how my body works now and my mind and I find if i really deprive myself from things i end up depressed and down. Im not going to eat the entire block (and yes there are some I try but cant thanks to the band) but i feel contnet with my decision to take it slow.

Dont let anyone ever tell you that the band is the easyway out I have to really work my butt off im out at the gym and im walking and doing water aerobics all week most of the time, so i have earned the right to be 34kg less. The band has been a good tool but thats all it is. And like i said earlier as long as the scales are going down!!! I will keep doing what im doing happily.

Over the weekend we had 47 degree heat and i was at the beach I decided to do bungie tramopliening something I wouldnt of dared to attempt at 132.5kg for starters i wouldnt of fitted!!!! It was a great challenge and I realised how fit I have became in th past 7 months and was really proud of myself. I did nearly pass out from the sheer heat and had to have a sit down and a drink so its something I will try again on a cooler day. It was really nice to fit i the harness though!!!LOL

Having a grump!!

Ive been walking lately up and down hills and in this 40 degree heat that the lovely sun has to offer its been full on! Even at 7,30am this morning it was really hot. My light and easy plan really hasn't worked. I'm not wrapped in the lunches so far but I'm sure the dinners will be better which I will try tonight.

My husband is joining Jenny Craig again but he had real success last time and lost over 4okg so it works for him in the short term its just trying to keep it off that is the problem which is the same reason gt the band.

At the moment I'm a little annoyed with the whole "band thing" I need a fill but yet i was over filled last time so I'm not sure what the plan is next! I'm sick of getting fills because i was under the impression I would only really need a few and I'm up to fill number 6 or 7 and each time is $170.00. I makes me wonder what the doctor is doing.

The full feeling lasts for a few days then slowly over the month i end up feeling hungry again. My next fill is next week and I will be discussing this with my doctor.

The thing i is have recommended this doctor to others so i hope he does not let me down. He is a nice man and looked after me on the day but I think sometimes they forget that they go home to their families and we are now dealing with the band from a day to day basis and need that little extra support not all the time but sometimes and expect them to be there.


Anyway I will keep you posted as to how things pan out! I'm still 99. something!! and I'm really over it I just wish it will go to 98 very very soon!!! and then keep going down!

Beena