to tell or not to tell

What a personal journey I have started, so personal that Ive decided to keep it to myself close friends and a few family members, and of course the entire Internet!!! Lets just say my name ain't BEENA!!!!

Ive done some soul searching as cheesy as it sounds as to why on earth I actually eat so much.... Even when I had a tummy bug I was looking in the fridge until I stopped and said WHAT AM I DOING!!!!

I think those of you considering weight loss surgery need to really assess why it is you eat.
(other then for the obvious reasons of course). I'm still learning and still fighting myself each day but its so easy to just block it out which I think I'm still doing as we speak. I'm hoping that the band will help me understand myself more and help me to overcome this. Of course I need to do the work.

I had a huge argument with a family member about telling the gym instructor about my plans for the band. It was done innocently and I understand that but a situation came about that made me rethink this persons trust (and I should not of questioned it I know her better then that) So what happened was I went to have a trial run at the gym and the particular staff member broadcasted it to another staff member that I was getting the band and she should manage me because she is somewhat an expert. That was OK but there was a mothers group member at the gym that is little miss gossip!!! and I only hoped she did not hear because it will be all over town....

I confronted my family member and asked her if she had told anyone else and the war began. She assumed i was accusing her of being a big mouth and i got all fired up because I feel that its my decision to tell. She said that she thought the gym would of found out anyway when I joined but I disagree because I'm not sure if I would of told them. Anyway to cut a long story short we have solved the problem and all if forgiven.

My point is you can not un tell people so be careful who you confide in and make it very clear to those who you do tell as to how important this is to you. I blame myself not my family member.... and i would tell her again if i had a chance to rewind because i trust her it was just an innosent situation. I may tell everyone I may tell no one but its up to me to tell...