Op paid for

Well I was worried i wouldnt have the money in time for my op but all is well and paid for.

It just seems to make it all real now.

Ive been feeling fairly down and out lately, i really dont know if it is because no one really understands where my head is at or if its just cos im worried about the op, or mainly about the rest of my life with the band. I think im down because Im struggling to cope on optifast and hate not being able to eat..... I just hope im doing the right thing for myself and my family.

Today i took my boys to a playcentre and climbed the slide and jumped on the jumping castle with them. Something I have not done for a long time. I dont know if it was the 8.5kg lost that gave me some sort of silly confidence but it was pretty funny.

I guess when Im banded and Ive lost a stack more i will be actually go down the slide which is something i didnt do.

Ive got a really bad cold and not being able to eat is making me feel shit. I went on yahoo chat and spoke to some people who didnt need to do pre op optifast, and i t made me feel better. i was worried that they wouldnt do the op if id had the od cheat. Ive got 2 weeks to go and have been sticking to it like crazy.. i hate it but i gotta do it.


Beena